Last year around this time the Kween of the Queens writing challenge was to write about something I'd learned from my father. For some reason or another, despite having jotted down my thoughts and notes on the topic, I never formulated the blog entry and never did get to share some of the things I've learned from my dad. That little scrap of paper with my scribbled notes managed to make it through the move from California to Hawaii and turned up in my "stuff" recently. I figured that meant it was time to share a few of the life lessons I've learned from my Daddy! So Happy Father's Day, Dad, and thank you for all you've taught me! (And Mom... I know Dad wouldn't be the parent he is without you by his side. You two are a team through and through. Thank you, too!)
My dad taught me that you don't always have to say "no" to your kids and that spontaneous vacations are more exciting and less stressful than thoroughly planned out ones. When I was in 6th or 7th grade, I got home from school one Friday just a bit earlier than my elementary school-aged siblings. My dad asked "What do you want to do this weekend?" I jokingly responded "Let's go to Disneyland!" And the next thing I knew we were throwing a mattress in the back of the work truck, packing some snacks, meeting the kids at the busstop and hitting the road as a family and making the trip from Sandy, Utah to Disneyland! I remember sleeping in the back of the truck while we drove, parking in a McDonald's parking lot when we got to Anaheim, "bathing" in the McDonald's restroom sink in the morning, hitting the park for the day and then driving home through the night! It was a whirlwind adventure and one that taught me that spontaneity can be exhilarating, and a fun family vacation doesn't require months of planning, thousands of dollars or packing visits to six amusement park into seven days of vacation. Thanks for the lesson (and memory!) Dad.
My dad taught me that you support the ones you love, even if it means participating in something that's a little (or a lot) out of your comfort zone. My dad is the consummate athlete. I'm pretty sure he did a little of every sport growing up and was good at them all. He was a bona fide jock. He played college football. He's trained for a marathon but a knee injury threw a (literal) kink into his marathon plans. He's a great sports spectator and knows the ins and outs of all the sports he enjoys watching. He raised five very athletic children. And me. I'm sure deep down in me somewhere there's an athlete begging to get out... but I've managed to repress and hide her my whole life, opting rather to act and sing and perform. Musical theater was my favorite in high school, and my dear dad, despite his struggle to hear and understand the lyrics being sung by high school musical theater students and despite being completely out of his element, showed up for EVERY play I was in. Multiple times! I'm pretty sure he was in the audience for every performance of Oklahoma! He was so proud and so supportive, even though it was something that wasn't necessarily up his alley. I've learned to
try to be supportive of the things my kids are passionate about because I know how fabulous it felt to have my parents support me in my passions growing up. (Please PLEASE someone tell me that Pokemon is a passing passion though. I really don't know if I can even feign interest in this one.
Sigh.) Thanks for the lesson Dad!
My dad taught me that to be the "cool parent" means doing things like driving your 10 year old daughter's whole group of New Year's Eve/birthday party guests around the neighborhood at midnight, laying on the horn and letting those squealy giggly girls toss confetti as you go. It means dropping your kid off at school on her 15th birthday with the stereo blaring and driving up on the curb to drop her off with some door-to-door service and shouting "HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANG!" as you drive off. It means letting your 16 year old daughter have
the birthday party to remember including a live band (Xingdu baby!!! Oh Kevin and Jesse please serenade me with REM's "Superman" just one more time please!), well over a hundred teenagers coming and going all night long, and one ornery neighbor that you KNEW would be ornery about the noise, but you let your daughter have the party anyway. Cool parents for sure! Thanks for showing me the way, Dad!
My dad taught me that it's okay to let your kids stay home from school every now and then even if they're not gravely ill. And he taught me that sometimes it's okay as a grown-up to skip work to stay home with your not-really-sick child, just to spend some quality time together in front of the Nintendo playing Tetris. Thanks Dad. I'm not sure if you remember that afternoon, but I definitely do. And someday I suspect I'll make similar memories with my own kids. I can only hope they'll think I'm as cool as I thought you were that day!
My dad taught me it's okay to take a little time and make some extra effort to get the perfect shot. I remember him making me feel like the most beautiful little girl in the world, posing me on this rock! Thanks Dad.
My dad taught me the value of a dollar. Particularly in the sense of stretching it. For example: If you pay $10 for an all you can eat buffet and you fill your plate five times, you can get your cost down to just $2 per plate! Likewise, when you go to an amusement park and pay $30 for an all day pass, if you hurry to the rides with shorter lines, ride as many rides as humanly possible, and take few (or no!) breaks between rides, you may be able to get your per ride cost down to 50 cents or a dollar! (This math and money logic can also be applied to things like number of slope runs on a skiing trip and number of allowable popcorn refills at movie theaters.) Love you Dad!
My dad taught me that anticipating something is half the fun. And that counting down to that thing you anticipate makes the thing TWICE the fun! For example... we are currently on the three month, one week, three day, fifteen hour, twenty-three minute countdown until my parents arrive here in O'ahu for their first Hawaiian vacation (and our first time seeing each other in one year, two months, one week, six days and a few hours...) My dad has a real knack for making the anticipation of a thing extra exciting with his countdowns. Thanks Dad!
My dad taught me to value a sense of humor. Thank goodness, because have you met my husband?!
My dad taught me that you're never too grown-up to jump off a tower and soar through the air for no reason other than you've just watched your teenage kids bungee jump for the first time and you think "Hey that looks fun! Maybe I should try it too!" Another one of those spontaneous moments that produced an amazing memory for me and my brother (and surely an exhiliarting memory for my parents, as well. Both Mom and Dad jumped that day!) Again, I can only hope I'm as cool a parent as my own parents were!
My dad taught me that regular communication makes it feel like you've never been apart. When I was an LDS missionary in Belgium and France for a year and a half and had to rely solely on written correspondence and letters from home, I was able to count on a weekly letter from my dad the whole time I was gone. When I got home I felt like I knew him as well, if not better, than when I'd left. I could hear his voice in the letters, and when I got to hear his voice for real at the end of my mission experience, it didn't feel like we'd been apart at all. I'll remember that lesson when my own boys leave home and serve missions and go away to school and such!
Thanks for all the lessons Dad! This doesn't even begin to touch on all that I've learned from you. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Keep the lessons a-comin'!
Comments (8)
Okay... now you're making me cry. What a cool dad!
That was so sweet. I loved it. Your Dad sounds like an amazing man and father. I started to tear up at the end when you talked about the letters from your Dad. When I was in the air force, my Dad would send me a card every week with a note in it to let me know how much he loved me. It meant more to me than anything else.
Your Dad (and Mom) sounds amazing! Thanks for sharing those great memories with us! They are coming to Hawaii! How exciting! Ducky just got back about 2 weeks ago and hubby is probably heading out there for work in August. Poor me, stuck on the mainland -- wah. That's ok, cause at least I finally have a teaching job to make it worth it!
Yep, you made me cry. Pretty cool stories. I wish I could remember them the way you do, and then write them in such a great way. You have such a knack for that stuff. We do have a pretty RAD dad, don't we?
This post made my heart ache. It made me love your dad and miss mine more. I want to be the kind of parent that your dad is.
@wmucci - {{{{Wendy}}}}
That was an amazing post, Angie! You are a lucky girl!
The good thing is that he didn't just stop with the oldest. He did all those things with me too--lots of fun. My favorite memories were of him taking me out to breakfast because it was okay to be a little late for first period and how he would wake me up super early before any of my races or track meets and have me eat dry toast and orange juice to be ready for the race.